Had beens and has beens..

I've finally settled down back in mainland singapore... after sooo much of travelling and stuff. been a really gd experience and all but it's time now for mr appletoe to come back to reality.
since i was back i was painstakingly looking for a job for myself. and let me tell u tt it isn't really that easy to get a job even though u've a diploma. after so long of looking for one...
i've stumbled across one! all thx to maria. im workin now as a graphic designer at an events company called Sonamyang. been working there for a wk now and so far so gd. i juz don like the fact tt i haf to be sitting in front of a computer for the whole day. i jus like to be out there doin things. the tiredness pays off and i'll feel i'd had done somethin for the day. luckily i can stil take mornin dance lessons. at least i can stil see my wonderful cute kids on wed mornings before i go to work. my sec sch students on tue n thurs are diff though. but i tin its a just a teenagers phase of life tt everyone goes thru. i noe wat it feels like so i noe wat they're gg thru now. i tin really, everyone should juz act their age. nobody should try to grow up faster than they're s'posed to. u'll really regret it i feel.
as long and as far as i've lived my life i feel tt i've always been living at tt age of mine (and sometimes younger too) so i guess no regrets. i've lived a life of very few regrets and i feel tt everythin happens for a reason. ok im getting really philosophical now but then i guess tt's jus me. sometimes i get worried if ppl will eventually get bored of me. cuz i tell alot of ppl alot abt myself tt i feel there isnt much of a surprise anymore.. but anyhoe.. at least im doin wat i want to do in my life now. working stable, teaching, dancing and enjoying the company of my frenz (even tho most of them are overseas now) so ill juz make do with wat i have for now..

Myanmar 18th – 20thJune

We almost weren't able to enter into Myanmar cuz of Cyclone Nargis, furthermore with all our equipment, but we still managed to thanks to some higher power. In Myanmar we cant use our phones so we had an escort to follow us all around wherever we go. Mr Sim, from the Singapore Embassy. He didn't seem very happy that he was actually supposed to accompany us everywhere we go for the next 3 days we were there. Actually, he wasn't really happy with a lot of things actually. Well, no matter, we'll just have to entertain ourselves and pretend like we have no host, as what we've done at some of our previous countries. Got a hint from him that the people in Myanmar were quite shy, so it wasnt really good to hear for me and Damien actually.
The aftermath of the cyclone tragedy could actually be seen as we were traveling over to our hotel. Fallen trees, broken fences, abandoned homes. But more or less, as we learned from our driver, life Myanmar has somewhat gone back to normal, or rather, they're trying to work towards living life the same as before. Where we stayed at, our hotel, was really in the middle of nowhere. Everywhere surrounding us, was dilapidated houses and lots of rubbish piles. As expected, Damien went round taking pictures and he did come back with some great ones. Very good photo opportunity. Dinner that night was at the hotel's cafe itself as there wasnt really much places to go to eat where we stayed.
Next morning, back to work. The first school we went to held it in a very big school hall-ish kind of place. Then the school headmaster approached me and pointed out this big hole at the roof of the place. He said that that was caused by the cyclone. Imagine, part of the ceiling coming down towards you as you're sitting there. Scary. Halfway through the events, i realized that most of the children were very good at using paints for their art pieces, and some of them really awed me when i saw how skillful they were at their age. But one problem that arose was the fact that works couldn't dry fast enough. So after awhile you see the whole hall packed with people as you see the parents of the children coming in to help their children fan at their paintings. I really could sense the closeness of the family evident in the Myanmese families. Really inspiring.
We didn't really spend that long at in Myanmar as our Visas only lasted a week. In total, only 3 days that we spent there. We went to the Shweddagon Pagoda, apparently built about 2,500 yrs ago! But then thanks to cyclone, some of the tips of the temples were broken off and there was construction going on to rebuild the whole place again. I was telling Damien that we might never be able to capture the Pagoda in this state, so i told him to take more pictures. We then bumped into this cute little boy there. Apparently he was one of the students that attended one of our school sessions. So cute la he, such a coincidence. One thing i must mention is the fact tt our driver was really hospitable. He brought everywhere and told us everything. Even brought us to his house where his youngest daughter was actually celebrating her b'dae. And then Pete gave her crayons as a present and she was really happy. She wanted to pursue fashion design in the future, but i really dunno whether she was gonna be able to pursue that looking at the situation over there.
On the last day we paid a visit to a Myanmese Master Artist called U Lun Gywe. He was 78 yrs old and he was actually good friends with none other than our S'pore president. He had so many inspiring words to say about his many years as an artist. Imagine, 78 YEARS OLD! The interesting thing was the fact that actually his whole family was all artists. His son, daughter in law, wife, grand daughter and even his 3 yrs old grandson! This boy has the potential for great things to be able to start exploring his creative talent at such a young age. One of the things that is really worth mentioning is the fact that a big part of your life is influenced by his parents, because of the fact that they are the first people that you meet and you see them from birth. Therefore a lot of your life is influenced by them.
Finally we were waiting for the flight back to S'pore on our last day, and it got delayed for 2 hours. So we had to sit there doing nothing in the middle of Myanmar airport as it had no commodities in there. Only one makeshift table stall selling coffee, tea and some snacks, pathetic.
When i reached s'pore it was so late, ther was no more train anymore so i decided to stay overnight at the airport's viewing gallery and wait til the first train. Had to rush for dance training after that in a few hours so had to rush back on first train, shower, change, sleep for one hour and go for training. Was late, but i couldnt miss it. I miss dancing! Haha. Glad to be back..

Philippines 15th – 17thJune

We're back to the last leg of the tour and now we've arrived in The Philippines. Was actually really wondering what this country would look like and now I do. Kinda modernized actually. Overall i feel, kinda mixed up country. Mixed of rags and riches. As you travel along the streets of the phils, you'll see some old school buildings and then right beside you'll see a totally new building like a famous fast food restaurant or a branded retail store. Very mixed up ideas. Apparently there's a lot of Spanish influence here. The language and the names. Very Spanish-like.

On the 1^st day, we went to this 'Taka' kind of place, it's called 'Greenbelt'. Had 4 diff towers and branded outlets all around. Apparently it's newly-built. Most people in the phils are Catholic, so on arrival of the shopping center, we were greeted by this outdoor Sunday mass where there were a lot of people gathered to listen to this priest and offered prayers. What a sight. We then started mixing around with some locals and found out that they were such nice people. And then i also found out tt they take English as a 2^nd language here so language wasn't really a problem. Our dinner was at this place called, 'Teriyaki boyz' as we didn't know what local cuisine to try yet so we juz settled with Jap food. Cheap and nice i guess.

When we reached our hotel, i was amazed by the amount of good service that they showed us, very energetic, very cheerful. And we saw that the security over here is really tight. The shopping malls had guards at every exit even the 7-11 had one on duty there. Dunno what's up with this country also man. By far this was the hotel that was the most spacious compared to the rest of the countries. Luxurious. And because 'twas a sunday that we arrived there, because of the fact that our place was in the business district, it was like a desert town. Th families were all at home and nobody would be travelling at the business district on a sunday. When i asked reception whether it'd be the same the next morning, she said, 'Oh no'. Her point was proven the next morning.

We were greeted by this heavy flow of traffic on the road that was right in front of our place. At the school we were greeted by a very hyperactive group of students and teachers. In the phils, there's a saying that everyone there knows how to sing very well. So we were greeted by a doxology, a song of prayers and also dance items. Really interesting to see a touch of their culture. And you can really tell they tt they put in effort in preparing all these nice performances for us. In the 2^nd school we were actually brought to this model house. Apparently this house was made for their Home Economics lessons where the students are required to know the diff parts of the house and also know how to upkeep the house. It had the full package, toilet, living rm. Dining rm, kitchen and there was where we were served their local food. One of it looked like mee goreng and there was salad. And then this soft round thingy that was coated with coconut flakes. All tasted not bad, partly cause we were quite hungry actually, haha.

I was talking to this t'cher who was asking me whether so far anyone mistook me for Filipino, then i said yes. And i asked her another question, 'do i look like filipino cause of my skin color or do i haf the features too?'. Then she said i had all the features too. Haiz... when will it ever stop?

In thailand there is the tuk-tuk, in the phils there is the jeepney. Apparently modified from this very old military jeeps which were left in the phils a long time ago. Now they are very nicely decorated and they serve as a main source of public transport there, as mini buses, very widely utilized. We were then brought by Claire (translator from S'pore Embassy) and Mr Lum Bert (Arts and Dance representative of Philippines) to these few very old buildings. Old cathedrals and old spanish buildings which might crumble at any pt of time. It was really like a walk down history as we were walking in those places. They were really great tour guides and kept on saying that it was such a waste that we were there only for a short time if not they would have been able to show us more. Claire was sharing with me about the different types of dances that the different parts of the phils was practising. The north (stingy), central (rich and generous) and the south (stand-off). Their characters all showed in the way they dance with their hands. I'd definitely wanna come back and witness their traditional folk dances.

Philippines i felt was a country full of its culture and the arts. Even though their library was very old, their walls were liked with artworks and paintings that it didnt look very old at all. It looked beautiful. We were then treated to more local food that evening and then we were given a taste of their so-called delicacy, 'Balut Saputi'. It's actually a hard-boiled egg which had a one-day old embryo growing in it. I was forced to eat it with Claire but i was totally disgusted by the idea. The taste was ok but looking at it and knowing that this chick could have been born into a chicken if i hadnt eaten it, made me turned off.

Made our way to Baseco after that, a small built-up village for a big group of Filipinos who were made homeless due to a recent disaster. Their homes were actually funded by overseas Filipino workers who gave donations for them to have a home to live in. To just see the joy that we were able to bring to them in that evening makes one feel very warm inside. To know that even though they were living in such a harsh condition, there were grateful enough to welcome everythin that anyone was willing to share with them and they still lived a happy life with their families, neighbours and friends. Wished i could have done more to help them.

I'm definitely coming back to The Philippines.

This is wat happens when u haf nothing better to
do on a weekday afternoon.

Few things that's on my mind

Whilst writing my entries for the last 2 countries tt i went to, i've decided to write about some stuff tt ive been feelin for the past 2 months.

1stly, i was practically jobless even though i was travellin around SEA like a rich man but really, im broke, its not funny, really. come to realise, as much as u'd wasnt to deny it but i really tin tt ur income is somethin tt's very important in life. especially i tin in s'pore. everythin has a value on it. how shallow can we be. man.h

recently ive been thinking abt how i live my life and my personality. ive found out tt im actually quite good talking to people and giving a good first impression, whatever impressions thy get after tt i guess most of the time, might not be the same. which might not mean a gd thing actually. well tt's if the person cares to even listen to me in the first place la. which directs my attention to something tt i heard the other day on the radio, about being someone who tells everyone everything about yourself and sometimes i tin i tend to do tt. and sometimes u become so transparent to other people that you become boring cuz of the fact tt everyone knows everything about you oready. there's no more surprise, there's no more mystery in me.

which makes me conclude why i tin most people actually want to be my close friends but none of them ever wants to go over that line. like go to the next lvl. cuz maybe im juz not tt kinda material. im like the shoulder to cry on, the

one to go to if ur relaitionship goes wrong. or if u need help or advise about some mishap in your life. but never the one tt u can sit down next to and just be quiet and juz love me for who i am. here i am being emo in the middle of 2am in s'pore. this is what being jobless makes you. ok im not tt free but i juz feel like typing stuff tonight k? i keep talkin abt other countries, im kinda bored.

ive looked back at my life and i see that i fell i havent been receiving a lot of love coming from my family. the way i was brought up, everything was so disciplined and i grew up as a good boy who'd do everythin according to how my parents wanted it that i became such a nerd. i never knew how to talk about my feelings to anyone when i was younger and never got to practice at hm with my family. cuz of tt i took to telling my school frenz about wat was on my mind and my philosophies to life. tin i started wen i was in PJC. they even chose me to participate in the class debate. then i realised my gift of the gap, haha.

which makes me tin even more... should i really be looking at design as my full time job and the rest of my life? will i be able to compete or even keep in par with the rest of the designers? i duno. sometimes i really doubt myself. but me, juz being myself, most of the time i tend not to show that weak side of me. i always like to present myself

as very confident and very assuring, so that the people around me feel confident abt me too. well, i'd say most ppl who are like tt are actually amongst the most insecure ppl in the world. they use this as a cover so tt ppl are not able to see their true weaknesses. and these ppl actually always appear as arrogant at 1st impression.

tt's wat some ppl tin of me actually before they meet me. as long as i don smile, ppl will tend to haf the impression tt im kinda stand-offish. ive tried lookin at myself in the mirror before, and i agree. haha. but then i tin most ppl actually change their mind when they actually start talkin to me. having tt kinda look can actually work quite well also sometimes u noe.

so my purposeless life carries on as i try to convince ppl tt im the best they can find around and then suffer in silence by myself. well, having lived my life like tt for the past 22 years... i tin i should be able to handle myself.

this is wat having too much time on your hands does to you>>>>>>>>>>>

mebbe i should think about straightening my hair...

Cambodia 28th - 30th May

My 1^st impression of Cambodia was quite surprising for me. The airport was very modern and nicely furnished. I think it's just me not knowing about Cambodia well enough. There was this English-speaking Tuk-tuk driver waiting outside out hotel building who was telling us that Phnom Penh has become a tourist destination, I think mainly because of it's recent troubled past of the Khmer Rouge in 1975-1979. He was also saying about 10 years ago it'd be unsafe to be walking around in the night there but now its fine. Most things have stabled now and most locals have actually took advantage of the tourists coming to earn some money for their survival. You do see people who suffered during those violent times, how they have become handicapped coming out of the incident and also the children who were born handicapped who are trying to make a living out of selling things to tourists on the streets. In Cambodia, whenever crossing the streets, you have to brave. Don't look at oncoming traffic as you can never expect a stop to the flow of traffic over there. You just have to cross and then all the vehicles (bikes especially) will swerve around you as you cross the road. Wat I'll tell people is that if you took a picture of somebody whilst crossing the road, you'll see him surrounded by vehicles to his left, right, front and back.

One thing I realized about the hotel that we were staying at was the fact that it was right beside the Tonle Sap River. After looking at some local maps and history books, I realized that this river was connected to Mekong River, the exact river that we were staying beside in Laos. Apparently these 2 rivers play a very important role in the economy in Thailand, Laos and Cambodia for a long time, for the fishermen especially. And another thing was also the fact that along the bank of the Tonle Sap river was the varying flags of nations of the world. Every flag signifying the existence of that country's embassy in Cambodia. The hotel where we were staying at was call the FCC, Foreign Corespondents' Club. Therefore the presence of a lot of tourists walking all around us.

Good fate brought us to meet this Tuk-Tuk driver who knew how to speak English, Makarra. He brought us to this temple on a hill but on the way a bunch of children by the street caught our eyes. It was a group of children barely even the age of 5 playing amongst themselves by the roadside. Pete decided to let them try coloring with crayons. It seemed like this was the first they've ever used crayons to use to color on a piece of paper. The first girl that used it, was staring at it (crayon) for a short while wondering, before continuing to color. It is evident in their faces that they we were elated to have received the drawings from Pete. When they went back home. They were shouting and jumping for joy all the way in to their houses. I think it was quite meaningful for those children that a total stranger just came up to them, gave them things and also gave them an opportunity to use crayons, something they might not had the opportunity to experience.

Makarra served to be an inspiration to me as he had this analogy of life and his big dreams. He wanted to study hard the next year and finish his degree about culture, history and traditions and eventually become a tour guide in Cambodia. The thing that was so inspiring for him was the fact that he had to work so hard everyday to earn that little money to help support his family of 4 siblings. And then also to save up for his degree. Even though he was working so hard and was so tired everyday, he wasn't feeling down about it. He was very happy to be able to meet and learn from tourists everyday and be able to chase his own dreams. This showed that in no matter what kind of situation you're in, as you're passionate about something and are willing to work hard for it, anything is achievable.

I was being asked the magic question again, 1^st thing the next morning, 'Are you Cambodian?'. A little bit expected that eventually someone will ask me that over in this country. We were ending this leg of this trip soon so our spirits were up even though we were tired from all those working and traveling.

Either Phnom Penh was really small or it just so happens the school were close to our hotel but when we were in Cambodia, we took very little time to reach the places we were going to. The longest, 20 mins. Which was a very big difference, especially compared to Indonesia. Part of the fact could be thanks to the driver because he knew the roads very well and he was very helpful too. Even knew how to set-up our stuff on stage. Despite the fact that he couldn't speak much English, he still pulled through for us.

Overall Cambodia was a relaxed experience for us as lesser time was taken up for traveling. The people there were nice and the children there were very cute. Very responsive to cameras even though they could barely speak English. Very rewarding experience and a good ending country to this leg of our tour.

Vietnam 25th - 27th May

At this point of time it became kind of confusing on how many countries we've actually been to so far. On the brink of almost forgetting which country we are at almost. We just wanted a break and some rest from stuff. We heard that it was dangerous to go out at night in Hanoi at night. But to me, it is only dangerous if you think it is dangerous. It's very psychological how you scare yourself into thinking what is reality. I didn't really wanted to risk it because I had my camera equipment with me. Rather not risk it. This was the first country where most of the locals were fair-skinned so that was why Pete was mistaken to be local, finally not me. Which made me come to the conclusion that there wasn't a lot of sun in Vietnam, thus the majority of fair-skinned people.

We went to this non-profit school called 'Blue Dragon' which is supported by World Vision and opened by 2 Australian, Michael and some other person. The reason why it's called that is because actually Vietnam is shaped like a dragon, Hanoi being the tail and Saigon being the head. It was even interesting how they came up with the logo because how they came up with the logo was through the many drawings of dragons done by many different children of the school. The other person in charge on that day was called, Binh. These 2 people were I think one of the few most benevolent people in the people I knew as they have such good intentions of trying to help out these Vietnamese school drop-outs. Instead of just letting them waste their lives away at home, they offer knowledge and life skills for these young people so they learn something that might be useful for them in the future. You can really tell that these children are really happy to be there and that these children really treasure the things they learn there and they seem like one big happy family. I feel that its good that these children are given the opportunity to know what it feels like to have someone care about your growth in education and allow them to realise and pursue their dreams. I think it's really big of them to want to start up this school for the Vietnamese children and want to improve their lives. Makes you think that it is a much more worthwhile cause to spend your money on rather than just yourself. I might want to come back to visit them again and maybe share some of my knowledge because I've always enjoyed being a teacher and being able to share my my knowledge with the younger generations.

We had an interpreter following us, he was an English teacher in University, called Tuanh. He was a natural comedian and he was practically taking over the show from Pete as he was helping him translate. I think he was putting in his own jokes as the children were all laughing whilst he was talking. Tuanh shared us a lot of insight regarding the education system in Vietnam. How the teachers didn't have a system to improve the teaching standards and how teachers don't see the need to nurture the children to become good adults rather than just to input information into their brains. And he was comparing it to Singapore's education system where the teachers here would have bonding sessions and sharing sessions to learn from each other so that they will be able to improve their styles of teaching. Somehow I agree that some teachers, even in Singapore don't see the importance of their roles in making sure that instead of just planting facts into the heads of children, they have to nurture traits like discipline and respect for the elders. They play a significant part to what they eventually turn into as adults.

What I liked about the Viet schools was the places that we brought to in the schools. One was in a courtyard, where there were these humongous trees which provide shade for the children to sit around on small plastic stools and carry own with their activities. I'd love to study in that kind of environment. Next was actually the school canteen where rearranged all the tables and chairs so that all the students would face the front and neatly- arranged.