New look!

Well in celebration of the new look to my blog, i shall haf a NEW POST! Haha.

Hmm, i shan't just talk about tt then. What's been happening in my life right now... Well i'd say the most exciting thing would be to teach hiphop class at 2 diff schs recently. (something tt i'd nv haf imagined i'd do in my whole life) didnt even attend ANY hiphop class stil wanna teach, haha. well better than staying at hm doing nothing right? only source of income for now. but i guess tt's the perk of my life now. other than being more and more involved in my dance troupe in SFA (S'pore Foochow Assoc) now every saturday is really being more and more of a torture for me as im being stretched to the limits of my muscles. (oh my aching, aging muscles) and being surrounded by all those young people isnt really helping. i tell u, im damn not flexible. tin its in the genes. but being so free all the time to pursue my passion in dance, i'm kinda getting used to this lifestyle.

Oh man, i sooo need a job right now. feel so aimless and im thinking abt things too much. (since there's so much space up there and everything) i hate doing tt! i'm s'posed to be like carefree and happy and... ok nvm. haa. im being ridiculous. i HAF to think abt stuff once in awhile right? ok i haf officially made this post just redundant, haha.

i shall juz share to quotes i read recently tt i feel makes me feel gd, haha.

-Wherever there is one of us the other is present-
-As long as people have friends to share their sadness.
it becomes easier to bear.-

B.R.O.K.E.

Emotional baggage

Recently, even though im not in relationship myself, i have been takin in alot of emotional baggage, from my frens.
"She doesn't like me.."
"..wat is she trying to do?"
"..im not worth it.."
I dunno why but i tin i haf become a free love counsellor. I tin everybody knows tt i'm soo damn free to listen to everyone's problems. Tin if i started chargin fees to everyone i can be a millionare. Wow, seriously, the world is so full of problems. Hmm, think ive said so much to other ppl tt i think i've not much to say now. Im listening so much to other ppl but nobody has the time to listen to my own problems. My frenships i feel, is like so 1-sided. So irritated and disappointed in everyone. Why does everyone take me for granted. I think i need a job now so badly to help me to stop thinkin abt stuff happenin ard me. Dammit! I hate it when other ppl's problems become mine. So reminds me of being in the Army.
Sometimes i feel really misunderstood and the people that i want to be with is not around for me to confide in. I feel like shit man. I need a gd night's rest and i need a new hobby. I need to learn somethin, make new frenz. I'm soooo bored..
Luckily stil got my upcoming performance to concentrate on...

S.T.O.P.I.T.

Phuket!

okok. i noe its been sometime since i came back but i just haf to share this SUPER anticipated trip since 2007.
well, i went w mr ian my super buddy from BMT and i soo had a ball of a time.
we were so organisin and plannin our day-to-day itinerary since wks before to make sure we don waste time there. got alot of help from frenz (thx rau!) and it was a wonderful trip!

first day was like so exhilarating to the pt where i couldnt really believe t'was finally the day man. almost got left at the airport by our taxi driver cuz there was somebody else who had the same name as me. n stupid ian had to almost lost his luggage at the airport. wat a bad way to start the holiday. everythin was smooth aft tt; the guesthouse was quite gd, worth the money, alot of commodities ard, quite close to beach (which we eventually didnt even go to spend time at) played arcade at jungceylon shopping centre and had the first taste of fast food in thai. KFC! the cups were damn big and we had tuna cum mixed vege for sides. we kinda made frenz w this tour lady who gave us cheap rates for this tour we wanted to go to the next day to island hopping and Fantasea.

2nd day: wow. island hopping james bond island, bat cave. seacanoe n we got so tanned. it was really a gd experince. soo worth the money. the beaches there, smooth sand, super clear water. and aft a whole day of being in the sun, thai massage! EXCELLENT! nothin can describe it man. heaven on earth. (and no i didnt get any special thank you v much) then we had a super dinner ( i called it "OMG LOBSTER") at a place w a live band. oh man i stil rmbr the bad singer.. (should juz stick to playin his congos)

3rd day, we kinda got sleepy n woke up late. ok though, cuz we wanted to make our own way to kathu waterfall. so cool! i got to ride on the busy streets of phuket! kinda scary at the start with all the no traffic lights and road sings in thai. and i cant believe i got fined for not wearing a helmet. NOTE FOR EVERYONE WHO DOESNT NOE: THE PASSENGER DOESNT NEED A HELMET, THE RIDER DOES! stupid waste of money. take tuktuk to police station some more, (officially the ONLY tuktuk ride i took for the whole trip) we eventually got to our desitnation la; kathu waterfall (aft askin for some un-understandable directions in Thai) quite dissapointin cuz it wasnt the rainy season so not much water to play in, can wash feet onli. niwae ian got to eat his first pad thai. not bad. tt night was phuket fantases; the play cum thai trad dance, circus, magic show tt was quite entertainin actually. quite famous attraction actually. aft tt, somethin kinda happened tt made me feel quite down so we juz headed back aft tt to sleep (sorry ian)

4th day, we finally felt the SUN was soo giving us such a strain tt so went to other side of patong and when to another beach (Karon) for b'fast. (where u had to pay to lie on the beach chairs, so idiotic) where ian had his 2nd plate of pad thai. wasnt as hapenin. we decided to skip gg to the beach. and go SHOPPING instead. (loves it!) ultimate motive to go thai, hah. got quite alot fo stuff back. for frenz and family. i HAVE to say this. half of the ppl there tin im a thai boi. tin they perceive tt i'm ian's tour guide or somethin. DAMN IRRITATING! wad did we do tt night? hmm, oh we went to macs for dinner n i took my most fav pis throughout the whole trip. WITH A MONKEY! OMG! CAN U BELIEVE IT! wow i was so excited and the monkey was sooo cute, so tame. i couldnt believe my eyes. went back to hotel aft tt and had ian 3rd and last servin of pad thai (ok if u are wonderin y we kept tryin was bcuz i was lookin for the best pad thai) which we found right under our hotel. lemme tell u the best food come from those street stalls i tell ya. t'was damn gd. the perfect plate of pad thai.

the last day, we had finally come to the end of our holiday. and ian was kinda shocked by the amt of money tt he spent on the trip aft we settled the hotel fees n stuff. aiyo, we were there to enjoy niwae. so no pt thinkin abt it. it was a damn swell holiday and im glad to be back safe w ian.

thx ian! for everythin! and for everyone else who were thinkin me back then in s'pore.
til the next holiday!

M.I.S.S.E.S

Purpose in life

Wow, what a way to come back from a long-awaited holiday. ive nv felt so emotionally-driven in my life before. so many ppl gettin on my nerves at the same time.

i tin its amazing how ppl can start comparing lives when they dont even know how difficult one's life has been.

'wow, how perfect ur life is...'
'u haf it all man...'
'...u get invited to all the parties'

seriously, being so pessimistic n soo happy abt life can have its downfalls too. ppl tend to get the wrong impression tt u're livin such a gd life and u don haf as much problems as they have in life. that you're not workin as hard as them in life and that u're juz sayin things n makin stuff up to make ppl feel better. sometimes i duno why i even bother to make ppl feel happy cuz im soo not appreciated. i noe im not the apple of (haha apple) everyone's eye but i try my darndest to make my fren's happy of course.

well bein on holiday for 5 days, n being w who i was with has made me realise somethin. at the end of the day u can actually really just depend on urself, cuz only YOU know wat u need and what u feel , and wat you've been thru. nobody knows how 'perfect' ur life is except u urself. so i shall juz say tt my life is as perfect as i wanted it to be.

well since im at it might as well make this entry as much of a rant as i can. i hate ppl who take advantage of me. like frenz who onli come to me wen they haf problems in their r/s. wen they're fine, im like a nobody to them. how irritatin. i guess u cant really expect tt much of ppl also la cuz everyone's caught up in their own lives but i tin it's kinda annoyin wen u can really tell tt they're juz talkin to u cuz they need ur advice.

is tt all wat frenz are for? i used to tin tt frenz will juz be there even wen u don need them. juz there to hang out or chill or juz be present.. well.. so much for that..

"happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, mum and dad and all my frens"

S.U.P.B.U.R.E.E

poison apple?

hmm.
i dunno.
i like this pic.
it shows tt the something can become somethin else aft a long time. up to u whether u wanna see it in a negative or positive way.
for me, it represents how somebody can haf 2 sides to him/ her. whether tt person is a hypocrite or juz trying to survive, to me, i tin its a gd thing to haf. (of cos not to the extent tt someone becomes schizophrenic la) me? well of cos i haf 2 persons in me. one is herman, one is appletoe.
Herman: the more serious, workaholic, doesn't noe how to stop, hardworkin, studious
Appletoe: the crazy, energetic, inquisitive, learner, happy, creative one

of cos i use this to survive n i feel tt everyone in the whole world has at least 2 sides. ya, its gd to be who u are n honest n everythin but sometimes i guess u haf to put up a show to be able to impress or even to make someone feel better. i believe there should be variety in life always n someone should always aspire to be someone greater (omg im beginnin to sound like ping! haha, no offense)

btw i love apples! haha

A.P.P.L.E.

it's comin to an end

my project is finally coming to an end (my production i mean) ... but the feeling isn't really gd cuz i cant really see the future very well. not sure wat i wanna do yet. should i stay in the production industry? i like doing it but then im too busy for anythin else and i don haf cpf some more. how my future future? growin old oready, haf to find stability in my life. does tt mean workin in an office? haiz.. i wanna pursue my passion in dance but wat kinda job can i do then? need lotsa time n the production industry is definitely not the way to go. not possible i juz do odd jobs all my life right?
i've always wanted to be part of a musical (even tho i haf but tt wasnt really much, juz poly) can i really make money out of it? if yes wow, ill definitely go for it man.
im gg to malacca, on x'mas (hope cliff doesnt come back then, or ill miss him, haha) my uncle treating my whole family to a day trip there. been so long since i went for holiday with my family. memories of me wen i was younger, with no care in the world. i really need a holiday man. then im plannin to go to phuket in jan with ian. duno how tt'll be though. hope it'll be fun. gonna do all research all on our own. (ppl ard us useless, even some travel agent...) it'll be a gd experience. think enlai inspired me to go to the internet n look for stuff. should be able to find gd deals as long as i do substantial amts of research. next yr im planning to go to aust to visit kooky n cliff either mid yr or end yr, depends on my availability. lookin forward to that. kooky gonna bring me to flea markets n bookstores n cliff bringing me snowboarding. so exciting! haha cant wait. nv been to aust before. mebbe can see ben also. wow, looking at it im quite busy.
aft this, sooo gonna get my bike license, don wanna drag anymore. n then take up more big dance performances to expose myself. hope nothin crops up last min. zing has oready approached me to do props n wardrobe for an mtv shoot next jan. don tin ill do cuz im gg to thai. see howla, work first then mebbe study. so many ppl bugging me.

Busy also cannot. Free also cannot. H.U.M.A.N.

my special day

well of cos it was my bdae
even tho i was so workin til late at night on my 22nd bdae, i was really happy. smses started pouring in at the stroke of midnight. (i was stil in the office) but then rushed off to timbre to meet jamie, nicorelia, rach, & the link and noisy rach. first time i met them aft long (other than jamie n nic la) so happy they both shared to buy me a pair of suspenders. my fav color some more. i got my first 2 huggies from them n i felt so happy to be loved. goodfellas were playin n rach was so into atif tt the rest of us cleared our table to make way for him to play guitar on our table. n he eventually did on their last song. he's super talented btw n they play v gd songs. damn funny how we keep disturbing rach tt night. super fun!
but then i had to go to work again the following day on my bdae....
in the morning i went to MAAD's plush exhibition to visit kooky awhile n he made me cupcakes. so sweet! they were appletoe cupcakes some more, w dried apples tt look like toes w toenails.

-------------------------------------------->>>

kooky's neighbor shop owners sang me a bdae song, so sweet even tho i din even noe them.
back to work then, i din really told anyone of my colleagues cuz i din want it to be a big hooha or a big distraction. even if they were to celeb i tin it'd be a half hearted effort. then throughout the day there were ppl wishin me too some even ppl who i din even expect to receive msgs from. really happy tt day n i went to timbre again tt night, meeting the same ppl. juz din feel right to go hm tt night. well, this time round, rach managed to pass her namecard ro atif the guitarist n he msged her tt night itself. tin he was a bit high. guess he was a guy kinda guy. even tho the person tt i really wanted to celeb with wasnt there to be with me, i was stil happy tt certain ppl stil rmbr-ed.
i luv all of u guys hu rmbr-ed (super touched) n i'd like to thank frenster too! haha.

Growing.Old.Slowly